This is Eric’s actual “pink slip” notice.  Not that it is entirely relevant, but there is no proof that layoff notices have ever actually been pink.  Lately, I find myself thinking a lot about the day Eric got laid off.  The words on the notice read as if they were carefully drafted by three or four “clever” HR reps in a room (likely people who knew enough to know they would not be one of the unlucky to receive the notice).

Anyways, my first memory of Eric’s layoff was of how numb I felt – for about 24 hours.  Not that I was necessarily in love with Stamford, CT, but the convenience of it all.  Eric was working, we lived downtown so we could walk everywhere…two movie theaters, an independent movie theater, 4 Starbucks within 3 blocks, the library, Target, plenty of home grown shops, etc., etc.  I loved it!  We were living in a luxury high rise and I was fortunate enough to stay home with my kids.  Wow!!!

Then, January 7, 2009, while driving Kalea to school, I got a call from Eric.  All he said was “it happened today, will call you soon”.  Without any other words, I knew with great clarity exactly what he meant.   I am sure anyone who has gotten a similar call within the last 18-24 months can say the same.

Even still, shock and awe would be the best description for my initial reaction.  I had this empty feeling, yet I still had a full schedule to carry out that day, not the least of which was getting my daughter to her pre-school safely and on time.  The news hit me like someone who gets “movie” punched in slow motion.  To compound matters, we had just moved one month earlier, so the thought of moving again made me cringe.

This is my life in pink…..  With all of the noise in my head, I had to get into a quiet mental space to organize our ‘new’ life plan…..NEW, NEW, NEW.   As I contemplated the word “new”, what appeared to be an obvious tragedy began to uplift me with the possibilities.

Naive or not, I actually started looking forward to this new life.  A new move.  A new state of mind.  How else should you respond when your options are limited?  At that moment, regardless of the uncertainty and trials that lay ahead, I knew that we were going to be ok.

In fact, I had convinced myself that we’d be better than ok, because we were going to do something great!  This situation was my opportunity to practice what I often preached.  Optimism now defines my life going forward.

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I am not a writer.  I am not a blogger.  I AM A BOOMERANGER and that’s what I am sharing.

In November 2009 I decided to share my experiences with whoever would listen (or read).  I, like many others in America, are too concerned about what others think or who we should be, basing everything on someone else’s perceptions.  We have literally evolved into a society where all that is important to us can be found in another person’s opinion, rather than our own.  Consider this, if you truly thought about it, you would probably find that the jobs or careers you have worked so hard to attain were the dreams and aspirations of others (i.e., your parents, friends, professors, etc.).  Most likely the aspirations of whoever you were trying to impress at the time you started your current career pursuits.

We tend to work harder to achieve success as defined by society than we do in simply staying true to ourselves and who we genuinely are.  It is as if being ourselves is not good enough.   As I contemplate whether or not to expose myself completely, I must acknowledge that I too carry these insecurities.  Funny thing is I was quite optimistic about this endeavor until it was really time to post all of these thoughts.  I final thought diggity shiggity, people will know I am broke regardless the situational “spin”.  People will know that I am living at the parents’ home……..not a good look for someone my age who is supposed to be established, well connected, and on their way to the top.  I have done a pretty good job covering it up, but I am soooo tired of ‘the script’ or façade that makes everyone think I am doing so well….Ms. Creativity, Ms. Optimism, Ms. Ball of Energy, and Ms.  Can’t Nothin’ Get Her Down.

The truth is that I blamed my husband for all of 2009.  I was so angry with him for getting laid off.  I was angry at the people that loved me just because I needed to feel like it was someone else’s fault for where I am (was) in life.  I cried in closets.  I cursed almost daily.  I slammed cabinets, closets, and cookie jars.  I made life quite challenging for those closest to me, but once I walked outside of this space, I became who I thought everyone expected me to be…..HOW STUPID!!!!

Look……..for real.  The truth is we are living at home with my in-laws who give us full run of their home.  We have 3 children that have a bedroom full of toys, the family room is full of toys, an infant swing, a bouncer, and our laptops, and their basement has turned into the kids’ playroom.   If you walk into this house you would think it was our house…..except for the 70s and 80s décor (totally not my style, OK!).

Nonetheless, I have been blessed for this experience.  I realized this after I was able to step outside of myself and look at the total picture.  What a complaining bigiddy I’ve been.  We are living off of our savings and the generous CT unemployment compensation, but it’s dwindling because of child care, food, gas, etc.  We would have been worse off financially if we didn’t move from Stamford to Atlanta as soon as we did.  So the situation could be MUCH worse than it is.

At this point in my life I have to give it how it is.  I can’t go shopping for myself.  I can’t go out to eat with friends.  I can’t indulge people with nice gifts.  I cannot live how I am used to living, but I am learning so much about life and facing challenges and adversities.  I am broke, but not broken.  And believe it or not, I have grown to actually love the learning throughout this process.

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Malcolm Gladwell appeared on Jimmy Kimmel a week after Eric got laid off.  Coincidence or sign of greater things to come… not sure yet, but Outliers was still one of the best books I have ever read.  In fact, I reread it last year.  Although the book poses a rather grim prospect for those of us “non-Outliers”, I am inclined to agree with this Mr. Gladwell on many points.  Maybe achievement of traditional success has very little to do with how hard we work, as much as it is purely “luck” – luck being when preparation meets opportunity.  Life offers all of us very specific opportunities to pursue our passions that could potentially lead to success, but how do we know when it is in front of us.  Sadly, we don’t and there’s the rub.  If we have observed nothing else from this recession, we have seen that no academic degree, amount of individual effort or work ethic, or job-focus could create more job security.  You either kept your job or not.

If you too believe what Mr. Gladwell proposes, the best any of us can do is to prepare ourselves and run with the proverbial ball when the opportunity arises.  The catch becomes how do you prepare for an unforeseen opportunity.  The answer is simple – pursue your passion.

Prepare for an Outlier Opportunity:

• Determine what truly drives your passion/interest
• Develop skills and talents around your passion
• Establish professional and social relationships with those of common interest
• Be brave enough to chase the moment once presented

The beauty in following this path is even if you never derive great wealth from pursuing your passion, we have learned that we must begin defining our own concept of success.  More importantly, you will never enjoy a job or career more, whether that career is one of entrepreneurship or not.

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Does anyone else hate COBRA payments the way I do?  Typical COBRA insurance is a joke in terms of being affordable for the unemployed.  If you receive unemployment compensation, there is a good chance that without some subsidy your COBRA premiums would exhaust 80-90% of your monthly unemployment compensation.  Who cares though, because it is only intended for temporary use?  ….unless you are in the midst of the worst recession since the Depression.

When Eric was laidoff, his company extended his healthcare benefits for 12 months as part of his severance package.  However, he still had to pay the premiums each month, which was a much better alternative to having a family of four and no health insurance.  The premiums were manageable since we were paying into the company’s group plan.   This was great for the short-term, but potentially disastrous once our severance benefits ended, as we were later told that the company used provisions of the America Reinvestment and Recovery Act (ARRA) to subsidize its costs for providing the extended healthcare benefits.  Among the many things ARRA does, it also reduces COBRA payments for the unemployed by 65%.  Therefore, any benefit we would have received would be completely exhausted by the time we would actually need it.

At that point, we started planning for some “real pain”.  Our projected premiums were going to be just north of $1,500 per month, so we started calculating how much longer our savings would last, assuming all else stayed the same – no job and living with parents.  There were moments where I felt like I was back in grade school:

If April has $X dollars in the bank and COBRA will cast $Y per month, how long will it take before April runs out of money.

Fortunately, a week before this nightmare would have become a reality Congress announced that ARRA would be extended.  Thank God!

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I have always loved music that inspires and comforts, particularly during difficult periods.  Since becoming a Boomeranger, I have never felt a greater need to be inspired.  Sam and Dave had one of the greatest songs ever made in this regard.  Love it as much as I have!!!

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